They have Always Been: in my life as they're a great place to keep things, but it was difficult to believe yesterday when I found the Discovery Channel had back-to-back programmes called 'Shed-Heads.'
These two young-ish blokes are on for a number of 30 minute sessions either building bespoke sheds from scratch, or repairing and renovating a shed which has seen better days.
It's fun to watch at the moment as the boredom factor of what it may become hasn't kicked in yet, but it was rather astounding to find that the TV giants are paying these chaps to make programmes about garden sheds. But it beats watching obese people losing weight, Big Brother and I'm A Celebrity; so let's not knock it, after all it is constructive.
Ex-Radio 1 DJ Simon Mayo had a series of programmes on a while back covering the people and the produce grown on allotments at locations in Wales and London. All the allotmenteer's have sheds, of course, and this one elderly Welsh lady was standing outside their shed saying: 'I really can't imagine what my Brian finds to do inside our shed, but he spends an awful lot of time in there.'
And I really can't imagine, either.

But There Again: When we went from 1999 into 2000 they expected the computers to crash and all sorts of odd things, so we will just have to wait and find out.

Some Xmas Cheer: in that midwinter's day, which was on December 21st, means that there are only 6 months to midsummer's day, June 21st; when it should be nice and hot.
And if you believe the Mayan calendar, our world as we know it will be ending in just less than 2 year's time; on the prophecied December 21st 2012.
Be afraid, be very afraid.

In Between The Lines: of writing, the TV gave Stephen Fry in America where he met Mr. Wikipedia, which was interesting because it's a great and helpful site.
I never miss the X-Files anyway, but there was something else about 'Z-list stars' like Peaches Geldof, Jack and Kelly Osbourne, Judy & Richard's daughter etc; who have never done anything in their own right to be famous, but are nevertheless trying to be so. The problem is, unlike their parents, they have no talent, and can undertake precious little more than being TV presenters and/ or interviewers. Peaches, of course, is a paparazzi favourite when she flashes her drawers or whatever, but by and large, as the programme pointed out, they ought to stop sponging and get a proper job, because they're useless at whatever they're trying to do, anyway.

And So This Is Christmas: Best wishes to everyone who happens to read this, (all 3 of you), have a great time and enjoy yourselves.

You see BA needn't have threatened their strike action after all; the weather has done it for them.

The darts has finished now until the 27th, so TV is rather dead, but wasn't it anyway.

I'm not going to tell you that I'll be working on another crime thriller story during my 36 hours of solitude, otherwise you'll keep asking 'is it finished yet?' and 'when will it be published?' so I'll keep it to myself. It will take much much longer than 36 hours to complete, so how long is a piece of string? I'll let you know when it's finished.

Happy Birthday Lemmy Kilmister for tomorrow.

A Bit Nippy: With the ice as it is at present, and agreed it hasn't been as bad down here in the south as some areas; but it might beg the question: What Global Warming?

Dreaded Lurgi Lurking For Xmas: With 2 doctor's visits and anti-biotics dished out on the 2nd visit to Mrs. B and number one son; the flu seems to have passed through this family at least. Mine wasn't so bad as theirs, but it floored me for a couple of days nevertheless. I'm just grateful the UK tour was early this year, it was far better travelling / gigging in the rain and wind than the freezing cold and driving in the ice and clearing windscreens etc.
We've got some darts on Sky and it makes me pleased we pay for it, we don't have the movies which makes it cheaper, if we need one we rent it. Even so, there is usually little to watch of any consequence, but last evening they had the 'Top Adverts of the Decade' and how they made them, which was interesting. Great to note my fave, the Hovis loaf advert, was No: 1.
A lot of folks like this 'freeview' box thing, but when there are some decent programmes, a rarity I know, they don't show them. A family friend was stalked a few year's back, and they made a programme about it, oddly enough called 'Stalker.' And although the victim and her family saw the finished documentary before it was aired, they couldn't watch it on the telly because they had Freeview. A full-length TV film has been made of their particular stalking, but it has yet to be shown here.
I honestly begrudge the £10 a week we pay Sky for the repeats of repeats of the drivel we didn't watch when it was first aired. How anyone can sit there and enjoy watching programmes about obese people losing weight is beyond me. How about doing one about skinny people like me putting on weight? Either or both would be about as interesting as watching paint dry.
There are so many TV channels now people like Sky are so desperate the film makers make films about anything. Such a pity they don't air some Motorhead, AC/DC, ZZ Top etc; but that would be no good would it, because it would be great viewing, and we're not used to it.
Progs like 'Fools And Horses' must be worn out by now, and the cast loaded from the re-run fees they're coining in.
Fortunately, Mrs. B is working over Xmas so I'll be enjoying 36 hours of virtual solitude - and I won't be spending it watching TV.

The Head Cat Dates: December 31st 2009 - The Viper Room, Hollywood - New Year Show.
February 20th 2010 - Musink Tattoo & Music Festival, Orange County Fairgrounds - Costa Mesa, California - with The Damned and The Buzzcocks.
February 21st Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada.

A Burgler broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard the same voice say, 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The same kind of people that named their Rottweiler Jesus.'

We Are Not Amused: It seems there are several younger generations, of which some member's of my family unfortunately belong, who have not learnt one of the most basic equations in life: cold weather = put on more clothes = stay fit and well.
Their take on it is cold weather = walk around dressed in summer clothes = influenza; with which they then infect the rest of the family.
Despite warning them every year that illness will follow, it seems as if this is a competition, and the butt of a great deal of peer pressure especially amongst school kids in appearing 'hard' by saying 'No, it ain't cold,' when there's frost on the car windscreen and they're in shirtsleeves, and 'No, it ain't raining' when they're walking to school drenched with a mac or top coat they refuse to wear at home on a coat hook.
Pointing this out during an episode of Poirot, when that generation appeared to dress correctly for the appropriate weather; I said, 'Look, they knew how to dress;' to which the reply was shrugged shoulders and 'So?'
We don't grow older trying to be a Victor Meldrew, we just become one from the exasperating circumstances and idiocy the younger generations throw at us.

After Battling Off: a cold / sore throat earlier in the week today it seems to have returned with the proverbial vengeance; and probably a mutation of the flu-like virus our son has been down with.
So feeling stodgy and disinterested, I cheered myself up with some of my favourtie 'fast' rockers, which I am unable to incude clickable links to here because they still don't work.
But, please enjoy them by going to You Tube and typing in:-

Dave Edmunds Sabre Dance (the version he does at a festival in Spain with the big semi-acoustic guitar is best).

Juicy Lucy Who Do You Love (boring, but pick the original with the record going around and round, they can't do it live these days anywhere near as good).

Foo Fighters Monkey Wrench

Motorhead Burner

The Nice Rondo (the fairground ride film with the original album version is best).

And TURN THEM ALL UP!

We Are Motorhead: There's a DVD on www.amazon.co.uk which must be semi-official otherwise it wouldn't be on there, and it's titled 'We Are Motorhead.'
Recorded live at 'Open Air Gampel / Wallis, Switzerland' on August 12th 2002, it is multi-region so it'll play worldwide.
Have a read of my review and give the 'did the review help you' button a click. It's a good DVD release but please note my comments. Most MHB's will find it a nice Xmas present, which is why I'm giving it a mention here.

Despite The United Nations Climate Change Conference: being held now in Copenhagen, there are no governments who really want to upset the population with too much change too soon; as it would lead to further unemployment.
And although no one can expect every letter sent to a local newspaper to be published; mine certainly ignored this, which I sent them on November 5th:

We Are Our Own Enemy!

So tragic to hear the news yesterday about the five soldiers killed by someone whom they had assumed was an ally.

Unfortunately, this cowardly modern-day warfare has taken the place of the 'old fashioned' man-to-man fighting, when the uniform designated if a soldier was friend or foe.

Almost without exception, virtually every war mankind has ever fought has been in the name of Religion, and it will, apparently, never stop. Surely God, in whatever shape or form, would never condone the killing of other Human Beings; when supposedly He placed us here to enjoy His planet; not fight over it!

By now, every race, colour and creed should have stopped fighting, and realised that we just have one common 'enemy;' and that is Time. We need now to settle any differences and join together to fight the one war which everyone seems to have ignored; the Battle To Save Planet Earth; and the Time we have left to try and win that battle is running out faster than any of us realise.

A Rainy Windswept Evening: in Poole is much the same as it is in the dozens of other Northern Hemisphere seaside towns; bleak, miserable and lifeless, with coloured bunting still there from the summer now chattering wildly on the strong autumn breeze making a sound like a swarm of plastic mosquitos. The rain had been relentless for several days, the pressure low and perhaps echoing my post-tour and fanzine mail out downtrodded spirit, the night was one for sitting in a comfy chair and reading a good book.
Not usually one for trend and fashion, Amazon have been battering me around the head every time I log-on with the Stieg Larsson trilogy of books. So I investigated him on Wikipedia, weighed up the strange story of his life and death along with the praise a great many famous crime authors have been showering upon him; and bought 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' for about a fiver to decide for myself.
So I'm sitting there reading in the warm, and the wind is still buffeting the bungalow, and in the south-west facing front it's lashing the rain against the windows like the bullets of water they truly are; and the tiles are rattling occasionally as if the devil himself is shuffling them like playing cards.
And then I remember.
When I make a promise, I keep a promise, and my auntie's youngest daughter's husband had made contact asking if I would like to go along to watch the band he plays guitar with; and meet up?
Families are funny things, and often we lose contact. Aunty Phil, Uncle John and offspring Jennifer, Barry, Joy and Jill lived but a mile or so away when we were kids, and having no car we visited them frequently as it was just a short walk or 2 or 3 bus stops away. But once families had a car, like us, they tended to visit family further away, and forgot about the local people; so contact was lost.
Auntie Phil has a distinctive voice which charmingly reflects our colourful local dialect, and in Asda one day I heard her unmistakeable intonations, and went to find her. This led to a family meeting a few months later regarding the family tree, which brother Robert is investigating; to exchange some knowledge and settle a few points using Aunty Phil's extensive knowledge.
From this, Nigel, the (Gretch) guitarist with Ogre and the Cafe Racer's, a 'Head-Cat'-Buddy Holly-Little Richard et-al style rock 'n' roll band; had invited me to one of their gigs; and on Saturday evening, rain, wind and cold notwithstanding; they were playing The Lord Nelson pub on Poole Quay.
So a promise is a promise, and never keen on breaking one, the warmth and cosiness of the chair and the ongoing book were forsaken, as ever, for rock 'n' roll.
And it was well worth it, they are a great bunch of chaps, being drums, bass, keyboards, (whose names I will learn, eventually), and Nigel on guitar. The Nelson is a great pub and famous here-abouts for live music and also the fine local, national and worldwide beer; and despite my having to imbibe nothing more than lemonade with ice these days; the elements were well worth battling to see the band.

Surprise, Surprise: The diatribe related here a couple of days ago regarding my disapproval at how we were treated at Motorhead's Bournemouth show did not rest as a Blog entry. For whatever reasons I cannot now remember, I decided to cut, paste and adjust it here and there, and then email it on to our local Bournemouth Daily Echo, who printed a slightly edited version on the 'Letter's Page' yesterday.
Agreed, we pay our ticket price, we watch the show, and yes these people need to tidy up the hall and go home, but never in 43 years of going to gigs have I had 2 or 3 so-called 'security' people employed by a venue standing over 6 or 7 punter's until they moved on. The biggest annoyance was when one of our little group, MHB and long-time friend and brother Eddie Evans, who was in a wheelchair flanked by his carers; was also hussled on - how about asking if his carers needed a hand getting him in their car rather than standing there with a bully-boy attitude?
As the song by our one and only Motorhead says, Just 'Cos You Got The Power, That Don't Mean You Got The Right!

What Is All The Fuss: About someone finding (and selling, for big $Bucks), an old silent 8mm home movie film of Marilyn Monroe taking just one drag from a spliff? It's like she's committed heresey. Perhaps back in the 60's it was a bigger deal, but today, despite the stuff still being illegal, it's not headline-grabbing, is it? If you log on to Mick Farren's Doc40 blog you can see the clip, and she blows the smoke straight out, no inhalation.
It's just headlines, and as we have spoken of before, it's much the same today with the relentless front page non-stop nonsense about Kate 'Jordan' Price's life and relationship. Do we really care? And I am sure her 'poor kids' were fine whilst their mother was in the jungle; worth £8million, I think the kids must have had the best of the best care and attention. And although their mother was away for however long, if they're like most kids, myself included, I was pleased when I was left with grandparents or whoever, because I had my own way and enjoyed loads more sweets than usual.

Apologies again for the confusion (mine) over the closing date for the fan club T-shirt; IT IS January 31st 2010 as detailed in the fanzine. Somehow I read it wrongly.

Very Ashamed To Admit: that after attending gigs at Plymouth, Swindon, Portsmouth and Bournemouth on the Motorhead tour, the staff at Bournemouth's BIC venue are the rudest, most arrogant and disrespectful of all.
They were exactly the same on the Alice Cooper / Motorhead / Joan Jett date a couple of years ago, and it happens across the board, as my son also agreed with my views from his experiences at the venue.
Most venues allow punters ten minutes to quarter of an hour to have a quick chat about what they have just seen and gather themselves to leave the building. This is a great idea, because with all things being equal, (like that pre-recession Egg Credit Card advert), there is a veritable stampede of people trying to leave the venue quickly to get a bus, taxi, or just get home quickly for whatever reason.
Is this down to the kind of people the BIC employ, or is it a directive from management; but they most definitely get the Award for the worst venue in the UK for employing gruff, ignorant staff as far as I am concerned.

Freezing My Bits Off: Always a cold mortal anyway, in my youth I attended Kingston Maurwood horticultural college in nearby Dorchester. Out in the walled garden layering a cherry tree, after an hour or so Mr. Jones, our lecturer said; 'We had better spend ten minutes in a greenhouse to warm up, Mr. Burridge has turned blue.'
Now, having to take Warfarin every day, this thins the blood and makes things even colder. Yes, it's my choice to get up and drive the fanzines to the largest post box in the area in the cold and dark whilst I can park virtually right beside it, (so that I don't have to carry them too far, and they all go in), but this morning was our first this winter for frost. So the windscreen etc had to be de-iced before going, but it's always a great drive with little or nothing on the roads other than the odd hungry fox or perhaps a badger here and there; and as of 0545 the 86th fanzine was in that post box, and is now on its way to you.
As an end of tour update. I heard from Mick Stevenson that the Hammersmith show had its regular 'extra song' with 'Orgasmatron' being added to the set; and Wurzel, and Lemmy's son, Paul were guests on 'Overkill.'
Lemmy also joined Girlschool for 'Please Don't Touch' and no doubt had many a fan who was in the bar or one of the local pubs cursing as they missed it. The Wolverhapton date the day after held the surprise I had imagined would happen at Hammersmith, when Lemmy joined The Damned onstage for 'Neat, Neat, Neat.' Having forseen their song together perhaps as 'Ballroom Blitz,' MHB Darren Hooley mentioned he had heard that song being soundchecked during the afternoon when we met at the Swindon show; obviously a red herring.