Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bloatermog 'Write On': will be on-air this evening between 7 and 8pm with host, Rob Richardson, talking to another writer. Tune in on http://www.expressfm.com/

Monday, September 29, 2008

Bloatermog Vanish Oxy-Action Magnets: You must have seen the advert? That dozy woman in a pink jumper with a benign smile is criticizing Mrs Housewife's 'fresh-out-of-the-washing-machine-laundry' for still being grubby, stained and well under-par.
So, she and Mrs Housewife cut a rugby shirt in half and wash one half with one of these Oxy-Action 'magic' bags, with the voice in the advert saying it's 'Magnetic' and prevents colour's running and thus removes the stains in the wash as they get attracted to the 'Magnetic Bag'!
And, lo and behold; IT WORKS!
Excuse me, but when I went to school, dye, dirt, sweat and stains were not, and could not be attracted to a magnet!
Does any human being this side of Mars have any of the above in or on their clothes which is?
Answers on a postcard, please...

AND WE KNOW our vehicle and any other Insurance we may have could be much cheaper by the infuriating number of times they advertise on TV in an effort to waste away their disgraceful profits. It's much like the radio stations who 'Power-Play' certain records and drive us insane with the repitition, the commercial breaks are similar in the mind-numbing times ads are also repeated. To be honest, I wouldn't Insure anything of mine with Churchill; they must make so much they need to launder it away by having their ads on EVERY BLINKING COMMERCIAL BREAK THERE IS and ON EVERY CHANNEL, too!

And to end my RANT here, what about these 'Loyalty Cards' we get asked to take on by Tesco, the petrol station, Staples, B & Q and so on?
"I'd need to carry about three wallets to fit them in!" I say with a furrowed brow; "Why don't they just make ONE universal card which will take ALL THE POINTS FROM EVERY RETAILER?"

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bloatermog Wheelie Bin Cash Cow: As Blogged quite some time ago now, finally, it is now illegal to leave the wheelie bin on the pavement for too long. And if we do, a £100 instant penalty fine will be imposed, with Court proceedings, a Criminal Record and up to a £5,000 fine of we don't pay within 2 weeks.
Agreed, wheelie bins littering the streets are an eyesore, but isn't this just a little bit too strong? The Fines are far in excess of those imposed for drink-driving, and on a daily basis now, 1984 may have been the wrong year, but George Orwell's prophecy for our future is coming true Big Time.
And Wheelie Bin Warden's (paid from our Taxes!) will patrol the streets after bin emptying day to 'Write Up' anyone whom has not wheeled their's off the street fast enough.
"But what about when I'm on holiday?"
Well, either leave the bin until you return or ask a neighbour to do the deed.
There is also rumour of more fines if we put normal waste into recycling bins, or vice versa; or for having a bin so full the lid is open.
We Pay more than enough already to have these bins emptied via the Community Charge / Council Tax or whatever it's called these days, and they gave us the (bigger) wheelie bins to enable them to be emptied every TWO weeks instead of weekly, (as it was with the old metal dustbins); so it's costing us Twice As Much for having our bins Emptied 26 times a year instead of 52.
And wasteful with food as we are today, thousands of foxes have died of hunger as they are unable to get into wheely bins to scoff our remnants. Oh, what a shame, some might think, and it is, until your kid's rabbit, guinea pig or chicken's are killed off and eaten.
Wouldn't it be great if the Council's were as concerned with fixing our pot-holed roads, getting drunk and stoned under-aged kids off the streets after dark, and had warden's patrolling and fining THEIR parent's for kicking in the bus shelters!
Very soon we will be fined for farting, for fear of the CO2 emissions causing Global Warming!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Motorblog Head Cat October Dates Cancelled: due to Slim Jim breaking his wrist in 3 places after a fall.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Bloatermog The British Mentality: Our News programmes have been smitten for the past 18 months or so with schoolkids being stabbed and the resulting gang-culture. Those same News programmes, the Governement and our Police Force seems to be a at a complete loss as to how and why knife and gang culture has become rife in the UK?
Well, as they appear to be too thick to notice, there are a series of TV programmes, (and a book or two), titled 'Ross Kemp On Gangs,' and (ex-'Eastender's' soap-opera and bald-headed hard-man) Kemp travels the world filming and subsequently broadcasting the Gang, Gun and Knife culture of these 3rd World countries where life is cheap, so every kid in the UK can study it, distill it, and use it to make their own boring lives exciting.
They're Minor's and can't be jailed, and the 'life is cheap' message in Kemp's programmes gives the impression if they stab and kill a fellow student it doesn't matter.
The thing is, Kemp has won Awards for these films, where in reality they should not be made in the first instance, never mind broadcast.

Rob Richardson: will be interviewing another author on 'Write On' this evening between 7 and 8 pm on http://www.expressfm.com/ if you fancy logging on for a listen.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Motorblog This Week's 'Motorizer' Chart Placings:
Germany #5.
Finland #9.
Sweden #10.
Hungary #11.
Norway #11.
Switzerland #11.
Austria #13.
Denmark #20.
France #24.
Great Britain #32.
Canada #33.
Czech Republic #41.
Belgium #55.
Holland #58.
Italy #69.
USA #82.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bloatermog Crumbling Social Structure:
**In response to the Government's proposed indoor smoking ban, due to be enforced on July 1st, 2007, Police were unable to cope with demonstrator's in Trafalgar Square today, whom had rallied in protest against the ruling. An estimated 350,000 smokers invaded the Capital in response to this move in the further destruction of our already crumbling social structure.
'I'm very concerned,' said one protestor, 'I work in the licensing trade, and I'm in fear for my job. We had to make a stand, the Government and anti-smoking campaigner's haven't thought about the repurcussions! Pub's, social and working men's clubs, bingo halls, betting shops; they'll all be closing down! People want to sit down with a pint and a cigarette and have a chat in the pub or club, or have a fag when they're placing a bet or whatever. I know smoking is anti-social, but without it, people will just drink and smoke at home.**

If the first paragraph HAD taken place, the second paragraph wouldn't be happening right now!

Have you noticed the HUGE increase in TV advert's for 'On-Line' Betting and Bingo?

Unprecidented in my lifetime, the Lytchett Minster and Upton Working Men's Club have posted flyers in our letterbox's advising of TWO open evenings, almost BEGGING people to go there for a drink. Before the smoking ban it was a closed shop, if you didn't get two member's to sponsor you, you couldn't get inside the door. With our 'Greenridge' Upton Crossroads pub closed, the working men's should be packed out! None such luck, it seems. People have had enough of standing outside under a lean-to for a cigarette.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Motorblog Lemmy on Planet Rock: If, like me, you hadn't found this on their website yet, it's under the 'Last 7 Days My Planet Rocks' heading and will be off-air after next Friday. Lemmy selects some of his own favourite tracks between the chat. http://www.planetrocks.co.uk/
Motorblog Motorhead Personal Appearances: In conjunction with their current Headlining American Tour dates, Motorhead will be making the following Personal Appearances at these record stores to autograph copies of the 'Motorizer' album.
September 12th Hot Topic, Maplewood Mall, St. Paul, Minnesota.
September 18th The Soundgarden, Baltimore, Maryland.
September 20th The Virgin Megastore, Times Square, New York.
Bloatermog Rob Richardson: Host, Rob Richardson is by no means radio's answer to Mariella Frostrup, but he's flying the flag with another author interview on http://www.expressfm.com/ this evening between 7 & 8 pm with his 'Write On' programme. Well worth a listen for both budding and seasoned writers, as there could well be some good tips to pick up?

Monday, September 08, 2008

Motorblog 'Motorizer' BLASTS Into the UK Charts!: at #32!!!
'Inferno' entered at #95 and 'Kiss Of Death' at #45, so you can understand the joy this Chart position not only brings Motorhead as a band, but also us Motorheadbangers for keeping the faith!

Germany #5.
Norway #11.
Austria # 13.
Denmark #20.
France #24.
Belgium #55.
Italy #69.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Bloatermog Friend's Of The Earth? No!: Our News programmes keep showing us this guy in a kayak who has paddled closer to the North Pole than ever before due to the Ice Cap melting, which in turn has happened due to Global Warming because of the CO2 we're putting into the ozone.
How much CO2 went into the ozone with the firework display ending the Olympics?
How much CO2 goes into the ozone Monday to Friday now term has started again with parent's taking their kids to school in the car and causing gridlock instead of using the bus provided?
How much CO2 goes into the ozone due to the likes of US not turning the TV / DVD / video / Sky Box / X-Box / Play Station / cooker / washing machine / etcetera etcetera off instead of leaving them on 'Stand By'?
The News media reports the above in equal measure, but nothing ever happens to stop people doing them and thus, in turn, slowing down the other.
Now scientists are getting excited as they believe water existed on Mars, and if so, it may be an ideal planet for us to migrate to - after we've finished wiping our backside's with this one!

Friday, September 05, 2008

Motorblog Lemmy On Planet Rock Sept 6th: This is definitely happening between 6 and 7 pm tomorrow BST, although it was pre-recorded, as Lemmy the band are now on their Headlining Tour of America, it should be a treat, as always.
Tune in via the radio (obviously), your Sky satellite dish or http://www.planetrock.co.uk/
It will also be available to hear again over the 7 days following the event on the above Internet Link only.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Motorblog Great News! Motorizer First Chart Results!
Finland #9.
Sweden #10.
Canada # 33.
Holland #58.
USA #82.

WWE has also chosen 'Rock Out' from the 'Motorizer' album as the Official theme song for Unforgiven.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Bloatermog Unable To Listen To: 'Write On' this evening. We have a 'Beat music themed bar' opening in neighbouring Bournemouth at some point, and owner, Dave Robinson, asked me to get a crowd of friends together to go along and spend an evening there. We did so. The photos, posters and memorablia are amazing and everyone was enthralled and enjoyed it, and there is so much, it will definitely need a few more visits to take everything in. The Beatles section alone is breathtaking, as they played a weeks' residancy at The Gaumont in the early '60's, and Dave has found plenty of photo's taken during the time, and of course, John and Yoko were frequent visitor's to John's Aunt Mimi, who lived in nearby Sandbanks.
The bar covers just about every band who played the town over the years, not just the early rock 'n' roll / beat bands and artistes. More info about it when it opens, yet for the Beat / Rock music enthusiast on holiday in the area it would be a great place to stay as the bar is part of The Bournebeat Hotel.