Digger's Fruity Choice: They were our allies during the war, but have you ever worked with one? In their own way they are human dynamos, and their knowledge on just about everything on the planet, and indeed beyond, seems fathomless; which makes them very annoying!
In my time I have worked with two of them, both within the space of 2 years; and at the same firm. One, who worked with us in the warehouse, argued with our manager that nicotine was more harmful than heroin.
Debateable, I suppose?
They both kill you, one quickly, one slowly; but in both cases, very painfully.
But not only was he an advocate of H, he was also a user, and turned up late and unfit for work on many a morning; and as I told him, no one ever turns up late from smoking; unless they get hit by a bus running across the road buying a packet of cigarettes!
The other one was an office worker, the buyer, who quickly earned the less than original nickname of Skippy. A likeable chap, he also knew something about everything, and spent his lunchbreak with the rank-and-file in the tea room where he could prove the fact.
On his first day there, at lunch, he ended up sitting next to me. And because they're fit an healthy over there, he had to have two of his 5-a-day by eating oranges, and started peeling one by sticking his thumbs into the skin; which caused a large squirt of juice to go right up my arm. I duly wiped it in his jumper, and we laughed it off.
At lunch the next day, the same thing happened again, only the juice hit me in the face. "You'll be wearing that f***ing thing and walking funny if that happens again," I told him; but we always remained friends and tended to laugh about it.
After about 18 months, one of his daughter's "back home" (see yesterdays Blog!), in Australia, announced that she was pregnant; so Skippy and his wife decided to return for the birth of their first grandchild. On the day he left the firm, he walked around to say goodbye to everyone. Shaking my hand, we laughed and reminisced about our rocky start; so, to celebrate that very odd way of earning a friendship, I presented him with...a bag of Jaffa oranges!
In my time I have worked with two of them, both within the space of 2 years; and at the same firm. One, who worked with us in the warehouse, argued with our manager that nicotine was more harmful than heroin.
Debateable, I suppose?
They both kill you, one quickly, one slowly; but in both cases, very painfully.
But not only was he an advocate of H, he was also a user, and turned up late and unfit for work on many a morning; and as I told him, no one ever turns up late from smoking; unless they get hit by a bus running across the road buying a packet of cigarettes!
The other one was an office worker, the buyer, who quickly earned the less than original nickname of Skippy. A likeable chap, he also knew something about everything, and spent his lunchbreak with the rank-and-file in the tea room where he could prove the fact.
On his first day there, at lunch, he ended up sitting next to me. And because they're fit an healthy over there, he had to have two of his 5-a-day by eating oranges, and started peeling one by sticking his thumbs into the skin; which caused a large squirt of juice to go right up my arm. I duly wiped it in his jumper, and we laughed it off.
At lunch the next day, the same thing happened again, only the juice hit me in the face. "You'll be wearing that f***ing thing and walking funny if that happens again," I told him; but we always remained friends and tended to laugh about it.
After about 18 months, one of his daughter's "back home" (see yesterdays Blog!), in Australia, announced that she was pregnant; so Skippy and his wife decided to return for the birth of their first grandchild. On the day he left the firm, he walked around to say goodbye to everyone. Shaking my hand, we laughed and reminisced about our rocky start; so, to celebrate that very odd way of earning a friendship, I presented him with...a bag of Jaffa oranges!
posted by Alan Burridge at 12:00 AM
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