Bloatermog The Tale of the Sheer Negligee: A husband walks into a female night time fashion shop to buy his wife a sheer negligee. The assistant shows him several possibilites ranging from £125 to £250 - the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the £250 and takes it home.
Presenting it to his wife, he asks her to go upstairs to put it on and model it for him.
She agrees, but thinks that the garment is so sheer she may as well have nothing on, anyway, so she decides to model for him nude, and return the negligee the following day and keep the £250.
She appears on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says: "Good grief! You would have thought for £250 they would at least have ironed it!"
He didn't hear the shot
The funeral is next Tuesday.