Bloatermog Billy Connoly: Did a sketch at some point, and I remember it well 'cos I laughed a lot as it seemed to be true; and it was about being sick when you're drunk.
And he rambled on about how every time you're sick when you're pissed there are always tiny bits of carrot in the sick even if you've not eaten carrot for months!
So Billy reckoned there was this gremlin, or elf, or something, who appeared when we were being sick, who had a bag full of chopped carrots with him; and as we threw up, he'd throw a few into the mix so that by hook or by crook there would be carrots in our puke.
Well, I haven't been pissed lately, (hmph, no chance of that any more!), but I can relate Billy's story / joke with my dictionary.
Jane bought me a new one a year or so ago for £1 in one of those discount book shops. A nice gesture, my old one, and the thesaurus, (which she also replaced), were quite worn and threadbare.
But rather like Billy's carrot gremlin or elf, I think I also have one or both with these books, more especially the dictionary; but this gremlin or elf hides the words I'm looking for!
I'm not kidding!
Every word I look for isn't there!
And of course, every word I don't want; IS!